Making Friends: How to Intervene if your Child Needs Help

You watch the boy in the house across the street as he traces his scooter around piles of moving boxes in the driveway. It’s obvious he is bored and he looks about the same age as your son. How can you entice your son, who seems to be afraid to make friends, to approach his new neighbor? The pointers below brought to you by the Seminole County private schools in the Diocese of Orlando can help alleviate some of your anxiety as well as your child’s as you both take the plunge into childhood friendships.Avoid Jumping the GunIf you child arrives home from elementary school crying because his friend is mean to him, do not immediately phone the school to tell them he has been bullied. Young children react differently to conflict than adults, and many children take an innocent remark to heart. Have patience and wait a few days. Chances are very good the incident is isolated and the two will be inseparable in a short time. If your child continues to be upset, contact the teacher. She will be a great, unbiased resource to determine if a situation actually exists.Ensure Your Child has Lunchtime and Recess CompanionsAsk the question, “Do you have someone to sit with and talk to at lunch?” Many students dread recess and lunch since these are two specific unscheduled times where they find themselves alone. If a child has a companion to share these times, chances are much greater he will not be a victim of bullying. Ask the teacher if she notices anything that could be perceived as bullying or whether your child is having trouble making friends.Encourage Extroverted Behaviors Through Role PlayingSome children are simply not extroverts and may have trouble developing friendships. Practice at home with your child, creating scenarios where dolls, stuffed animals, or action figures meet each other. Introduce your character and ask, “What is your name?” along with other questions and have your child mimic your actions. This relaxed play will build confidence in your child and make meeting people easier.Host Play DatesForm play dates with different children, from his little league teammates to a few friends from school. While your child may not form fast friendships with every person, there may be one or two children with whom he is comfortable. Even better, he may find an extrovert who takes him in and introduces him to everyone he knows.Remember, just because you are an extrovert does not imply your child will also be outgoing. Respect that some people are happier when they spend time alone rather than in the company of others. There is a difference between not being able to form multiple friendships and simply not wanting to have a dozen friends. You can call the Diocese at 407-246-4903 to ask about their Seminole County private school.