Effective Communication and Cooperation and Your Child

When parents learn to communicate effectively with their children, the amount of confusion and the frustration that generally follows that confusion are significantly reduced. The teachers in the Diocese of Orlando’s schools in Orlando, Florida are well practiced in the art of communication and would like to share their communication secrets with you.

• Before a direct command, say your child’s name: “Becky, please pick up your shoes.”
• Give clear, short, and specific directions: “Put your glass in the sink after you finish your milk.”
• Make eye contact: Many children argue they did not hear what you said, and if they are distracted by a book, game, or phone, this may be the case. This leads to a direct command before eye contact: “Curtis, please put down your book and look at me.”
• Have your child repeat what you said: If direct eye contact does not solve the problem, repeating the command generally will. “Agnes, put away your clothes.” (Pause.) “Please tell me what I want you to do.”
• Do not overburden: Many children cannot process multiple commands, which leads to frustration. Instead of saying, “Catie, go to your room and make your bed, clean your floor, and put away your clothes”, say, “Catie, make your bed. Let me know when you are finished so I can see what a good job you did.” Give the second command when the first is completed.
• Be polite and do not yell: If you want your children to be well mannered, add “please” and “thank you” to your requests. When you are upset, take a breath and count to ten.
• If you have repercussions for actions, follow through: Empty threats take away a lot of authority since your child knows if he or she does not stop, nothing will happen. Make the follow through something you can handle. “You can stay home and clean your room while the rest of us go to the movie” is not feasible when you are speaking to a four year old. Taking away television privileges is.
• Keep the upper hand: Some children are born bargainers. Do not let your child twist the conversation or beg out of a chore. Stay strong no matter how precious your child looks or how many tears are shed. If you cannot control your emotions (even if you are about to burst out laughing) leave the room for a short time and giggle in private.
• Give your child a sense of authority: If you want your child to make his bed and pick up his toys, ask him which he would like to do first. This empowers your child to think and plan.
• Give thanks: When the task is complete, give effusive praise. Young children love to please their parents, and when you notice how clean the room looks or how the garbage was taken out the first time you asked, your child will glow. Even older children appreciate the recognition of a task well done.

When you are respectful of your child and show how much you appreciate him or her, the lines of communication open much more freely. Learn more education tips by reading the Diocese of Orlando’s blogs, and call 407-246-4903 to learn about our schools in Orlando, Florida.